After nearly two years of living as engaged fornicators, Robert really started to push hard to make an honest woman of me. The nerve of that guy! Just kidding! So I finally relented, and we were married on August 14, 1993. I know, that sounds so romantic doesn't it? It's true nevertheless. I [a "Christian" woman] was actually dragging her feet to the alter of matrimony. Marriage - a major life event most females dream of, and plan for from birth, was something I was not in a hurry to experience. Some may say it was because of my age. We were both 22 years old, but at the time, I didn't think we were too young, but looking at pictures, my goodness, we looked like children! If you desire to see what I mean, just click HERE.
Honestly, I don't think the age thing was the reason at all. So why was I procrastinating about marrying this wonderful man? I don't really know why I avoided setting a date...uh ...maybe it was because the only marriage I knew personally, that of my parents, wasn't the greatest model and finally ended in divorce when I was 20. I'm sure there were several factors involved, but the final straw I guess, was my mother's lack of heart felt fidelity to her marriage. In retrospect, I could have been subconsciously trying to avoid getting married, because of the pain suffered as a young girl of sixteen, when all my ideas about marriage and fidelity were challenged. I'm sure those seeds of distrust planted by my father leaving us when things got rough were a major factor as well. All I know for sure is that Robert gave me an ultimatum - either I had to set a date and plan our wedding, or he would. So out of the fear that Robert would plan our nuptials as a back yard BBQ ceremony, I was motivated and I got busy planning.
Not surprisingly, everything did not happen according to plan, but we had a wonderful wedding anyway! There was so much love there, it was a real joy. Ironically, after all my efforts to avoid that day, once in the moment, I didn't want that glorious night to end, but of course, like in most fairly tales, the time flew by! Then it was off to our honeymoon - a seven day Mexican Riviera cruise, thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law.
For those of us who have been married for more than seven years, we know that married life is very difficult! The fairy tale ending of: "And they lived happily ever after" is so much easier said than done. But marriage is also very rewarding, provided that both parties are indeed selflessly working together and are committed to each other and their vows, made before a host of witnesses and God Almighty. We matrimonial veterans know that when the honeymoon is over, that is when the real work of cooperation begins. By the way, I loath the word "compromise" and it really should have no place in the unwritten marriage handbook. On a side note, I remember asking Robert if he liked me, right after he first proclaimed his love for me. Rather puzzled by my question, he restated that he loved me. I said I knew he loved me, but the "love" feeling comes and goes. I explained that if he liked me, then at least he would be more inclined to stick around, until that "love" feeling returned.
What I meant was, did he consider me to be a friend as well as a lover? Friendships usually start based on a shared, or common interest, by people who find each other enjoyable to be around. There is definitely an emotional chemistry that takes place, where some people just seem to "click", where as others don't. This is a fascinating mystery to me. It seems to me that the best marriages are experienced by those who are very good friends as well as being lovers. Yet, strangely enough, some couples are better friends than lovers and viceaversa- go figure. I guess that proves there is always an exception to a every seemingly hard and fast rule. Anyway, the first year was hard for us (me) even though we had lived together in fornication for nearly two years. So in my humble opinion, that whole "shack up before you wed to see if you are compatible" business is a bunch of bunk. My advise for young people (through hard won experience) is to wait until you are married before you live together and share a bed. Truly, I most solemnly tell you, God knows what he is talking about when he commands us to NOT fornicate.
Honestly, I don't think the age thing was the reason at all. So why was I procrastinating about marrying this wonderful man? I don't really know why I avoided setting a date...uh ...maybe it was because the only marriage I knew personally, that of my parents, wasn't the greatest model and finally ended in divorce when I was 20. I'm sure there were several factors involved, but the final straw I guess, was my mother's lack of heart felt fidelity to her marriage. In retrospect, I could have been subconsciously trying to avoid getting married, because of the pain suffered as a young girl of sixteen, when all my ideas about marriage and fidelity were challenged. I'm sure those seeds of distrust planted by my father leaving us when things got rough were a major factor as well. All I know for sure is that Robert gave me an ultimatum - either I had to set a date and plan our wedding, or he would. So out of the fear that Robert would plan our nuptials as a back yard BBQ ceremony, I was motivated and I got busy planning.
Not surprisingly, everything did not happen according to plan, but we had a wonderful wedding anyway! There was so much love there, it was a real joy. Ironically, after all my efforts to avoid that day, once in the moment, I didn't want that glorious night to end, but of course, like in most fairly tales, the time flew by! Then it was off to our honeymoon - a seven day Mexican Riviera cruise, thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law.
For those of us who have been married for more than seven years, we know that married life is very difficult! The fairy tale ending of: "And they lived happily ever after" is so much easier said than done. But marriage is also very rewarding, provided that both parties are indeed selflessly working together and are committed to each other and their vows, made before a host of witnesses and God Almighty. We matrimonial veterans know that when the honeymoon is over, that is when the real work of cooperation begins. By the way, I loath the word "compromise" and it really should have no place in the unwritten marriage handbook. On a side note, I remember asking Robert if he liked me, right after he first proclaimed his love for me. Rather puzzled by my question, he restated that he loved me. I said I knew he loved me, but the "love" feeling comes and goes. I explained that if he liked me, then at least he would be more inclined to stick around, until that "love" feeling returned.
What I meant was, did he consider me to be a friend as well as a lover? Friendships usually start based on a shared, or common interest, by people who find each other enjoyable to be around. There is definitely an emotional chemistry that takes place, where some people just seem to "click", where as others don't. This is a fascinating mystery to me. It seems to me that the best marriages are experienced by those who are very good friends as well as being lovers. Yet, strangely enough, some couples are better friends than lovers and viceaversa- go figure. I guess that proves there is always an exception to a every seemingly hard and fast rule. Anyway, the first year was hard for us (me) even though we had lived together in fornication for nearly two years. So in my humble opinion, that whole "shack up before you wed to see if you are compatible" business is a bunch of bunk. My advise for young people (through hard won experience) is to wait until you are married before you live together and share a bed. Truly, I most solemnly tell you, God knows what he is talking about when he commands us to NOT fornicate.